Making 2021 My B*tch

It’s about that time of the year again where new year’s resolutions are starting to fade away. The unfortunate but increasing feeling of guilt from unkept promises made to yourself. And of course, the common denominator being a busy schedule finally taking over once more, shedding light on what could be considered an overzealous goal or assumption that did not quite make it past the first month. Why do most people continue to put themselves through this vicious cycle of failure every year? It’s like a routine cuckoo clock chirping away to remind you of your ultimate defeat.

After the whirlwind that was the year 2020, I did some soul searching while confined within the four walls of my small one bedroom. After all, what more’s left to do when it feels like the odds are stacked so high against you? From losing internships to being thousands of miles away from family; I had so many plans for what was supposed to be “my year”. I was supposed to make 2020 “my bitch”. But with every uncertain day that passed by, and every rainy storm that I allowed myself to be blown away due to; I realized that I was, in fact, the bitch.

I decided to hack the system this year. After all, who decided that you can’t set goals after the first day of the year? I didn’t even know what I was going to eat for dinner that day and frankly at this point, I don’t even remember. So for 2021, I decided to be kinder to myself. I narrowed it down to one goal, one action that I would like as a habit. I wanted to allow myself the flexibility that life invariably offers me. We have such a wonderful innate feature, to bounce back from things that don’t work out. So why set a static timeline for something as fickle as time itself?

This year, I still set goals that I hope to maintain. But if I don’t, I plan on forgiving myself. And so far, that has worked like a charm. Sure, I don’t practice gratitude every single day, but the days I do, the feeling of accomplishment is unreal. That’s something to be grateful for in itself. I may not complete my “daily” flow of yoga; but the sheer fact that I don’t despise myself after, propels me to be better, just for myself.

Sure, I did worry that taking away the rigidity would make me lazier, but in fact, it has done the exact opposite. I am more organized and work harder than I have ever before. And when I need a me-day, I’m allowed to take one without the intense guilt of what I could have been doing with that time. I gave myself the privilege of flexibility and forgiveness, but at the same time, I have naturally learned not to abuse it.

So with that being said, here’s to trying once more, and making 2021 “my bitch”.